FAQ part III - Coping Strategies

Here (finally) is the compilation of coping strategies/suggestions that I have been collecting and promising to post. I have gleaned the information both from direct responses from my original request and also by following various discussions posted on a.s.h.m. over the last while. I hope it is a useful list. I will be grateful for any suggestions for improvements (I intend to update this from time to time). Please e-mail me at jdulson@uoguelph.ca

Jackie


Coping Strategies

1. General

-Learn everything you can about migraine. There are many different triggers and symptoms for migraine, and increasing your understanding greatly diminishes fear and increases your capacity to manage your condition.

-Get to know your own migraines. Charting when migraine occurs in relation to activities, foods, weather, and hormonal changes is a good way of identifying your triggers.

-Find a doctor who is interested in migraine, well-informed, and willing to involve you in all decisions concerning your treatment. Avoid any doctor who still believes in "migraine personality traits", that it's "just stress" or otherwise treats you in a condesending way. Knowledge about migraine and the strategies for treatment have changed significantly over even the last 5 years, and every doctor is not going to have kept up.

-Look up any new medication you are given in the Physician's Desk Reference (most libraries and bookstores will have a copy) to get a full account of any side-effects. Many migraineurs seem to experience the rare side-effects that physicians may not think warrant mention.

-When something works for you, go with it . Ignore nay-sayers, even when their motives are the best.

-This is especially for "Hats"; don't waste the good days!

2. Family and Friends


-Inform family and friends about your food sensitivities or other avoidable triggers and remind them regularly. This goes a long way towards avoiding or minimizing having migraine attacks at social occasions and was generally reported to be appreciated by all.


-Ask family members to help out with your usual duties when you have a migraine, and then let them do so. So many of us seem to try to carry on despite until we reach total incapacitation.


-Set the tone clearly for how you need to be treated during a migraine. People generally take you at your word, so try to avoid saying you're better than you are (you know, the old "no, no, I'm OK don't worry about me" stuff). It's not fair to them. Being honest about your pain and discomfort level gives those around us the necessary information to respond appropriately and compassionately.

- For very young children, placing a band-aid on your forehead can act as a symbol they can understand and relate to ("it hurts here") and may help them remember to play quietly.

-Consider encouraging others to participate in those planned activities that you find yourself unable to follow through with. This is perhaps most appropriate to those of us who suffer chronic migraine that regularly interferes with our plans, because many of us seem to feel a good deal of guilt over this. This can be difficult to do with grace however, because it is natural to be feel left out and resentful. Try to remember it is your migraine that you resent and not the pain-free people around you.

-If there are emotional changes around your migraine (many have reported feeling depressed before, during or after an attack), it can be helpful to explain this to those that are close to you when you are feeling well. This may help to avoid hurt feelings from taking migraine-caused behaviour personally.

-Be responsible for your own illness. If you need to be alone, say so; on the flip side, if you feel you want someone to be available to get you water and other comforts over the course, ask for that.

-For immediate family members (or others who live with you day to day), it seems most become acutely aware of the severity of the pain we live with and feel helpless and frustrated. It can help them cope with their feelings if they become more educated about migraine as well; encourage and help out in this.

3. Work

A. Getting the work done

I)
-As much as possible, change your work environment to minimize the number of triggers you are exposed to during the day. Remember these changes will increase your productivity, so try not to be self-conscious about asking for necessary change. Some areas where change may be possible include:

- Assess the "refresh rate" of your computer monitor; where possible (and I know it may not be) try different monitors to see which is most comfortable. -Always set the brightness and contrast of your monitor to where you are comfortable. -Ensure the light intensities between your computer monitor and the surrounding area are approximately equal. -Change the bulbs/tubes in your work area to eliminate or reduce the type that trigger migraine (fluorescent lighting is a frequently cited trigger). -Assess your work area for its ergonomic design and rearrange objects to reduce or eliminate eye, neck or shoulder strain while working. -Request a smoke-free and perfume-free environment. -Where possible, arrange to have the ability to open a window close to you. -Protect yourself from or eliminate loud or constant noise in your work area (radios, machinery, etc.).

II.
- Again withing the limits of your particular job, request or take advantage of any flexibility in scheduling that is available. The goal here is to be responsible for deciding when you can work most productively and when you will not be able to perform adequately. This again is not an unreasonable request; you are arrangeing with your employer to get the most bang for his/her buck!
Options here include:

-FLEX TIME; this seemed to be critical to those with frequent migraine and most often cited as THE best coping strategy. Some degree of flex time could be helpful for any migraine sufferer.

-"Saving" the less taxing, more routine tasks for those days when you have a low-grade migraine can be helpful in reducing the errors that can occur due to cognitive effects ( not being able to do math or find words) and/or physical effects (that clumsy, can't quite trust your body to behave normally thing). It can also help in meeting deadlines and keeping your productivity up despite the occassional slow day, and does not, in general, require your boss' permission.

-Working from home, either full-time or on "down" days, allows some people to get some work done while taking care of their migraine. Those who were able to work at home for themselves with flexible deadlines seemed to be the happiest here (and don't we all wish we could be them!)

B. Dealing with co-workers


-Inform co-workers about your condition and what your known triggers are. Most people report co-workers were willing to make adjustments to allow for sensitivities from things ranging from 3M Desk Cleaner to perfumes and cigarettes when they were made aware of triggering effects.

-A number of people mentioned that phoning in sick with a migraine was particularly difficult, either because of guilty feelings or just due to the level of pain being experienced. Several options were noted:
a) have one person you can call who will then inform any others that need to know ,
b) call in to a machine so you don't actually have to have a conversation with a real person (lots of us seem to hate having to answer well-meaning questions about HOW sick we are),
c) for those with frequent, regular migraine, informing co-workers that if you are not in by a certain time, they can assume you will be at home with a migraine can eliminate having to call in at all .

- A sense of humour seems a prerequisite to getting by at work. It seems everyone works with some know-it-all who could cure us of all our pain if we'd only take their advice (or an aspirin). I won't catalogue the many acerbic retorts that flew by in the recent "how to deal with non-sufferers" thread, but it would seem that having at least one good snotty reply on hand for those really persistent souls might come in handy. Or you could barf on their socks.

C. Dealing with supervisors.


-If the migraines are infrequent and do not affect your work, the concensus seems to be to keep quiet about your condition to your supervisor to avoid prejudicing her/his evaluation of you.

-What to do/say when the migraines are frequent enough to be noticed yet do not adversely affect your ability to do the job appears to be the most touchy issue. There does not seem to be any one way to handle this very important area; a successful strategy depends on the nature of the job and the personalities of those involved. That said, I believe that there is a lot of room for improvement in this area if the general population were more informed about migraine. The options that were suggested include:

i) Be honest and upfront. Inform your employer about your condition, what you do to control it, and how frequently you can be expected to be absent. Emphasize what you will do to make up time or meet deadlines, and certainly point out that your past job performance proves that you are as productive as any other employee. Avoid "awful-ising" your condition; your goal is to reassure your employer and impress him/her with your professionalism.
ii) Say nothing. Some felt strongly that if they were doing their job well and meeting all requirements, then their medical condition was their private business. There was much discussion at one point about the "Americans with Disabilities Act", but not being an american, I can't comment. It does seems good advice nevertheless to inform yourself of your employment rights in whatever country you are working in.

- If migraines are affecting the work you do, it seems best to acknowledge this and quit fighting your own needs. Some organizations may be able to accomodate you anyway when they are made aware of your predicament (flex time or job-sharing for example) but others will not. Compassion is not generally considered a corporate responsibility. For each of us there is the frightening possibility that we may one day be unable to continue in our current career due to migraine or even to hold a steady job at all (a number of you already have been there). I can suggest no other "coping mechanism" for this other than to get out there and find the things you can do. And I recognize and respect how difficult and emotionally draining that can be.



I cannot leave this section without adding some personal commentary, because work issues seem overwhelmingly to be the most difficult. Some of this is undoubtedly due to the relatively small amount of control over this environment most of us have; we don't choose our offices, our co-workers or our bosses. Changing those things we can control sometimes takes courage; it is embarassing to ask a relative stranger not to wear perfume to work, or to request that fluorescent lighting be replaced. Too often co-workers and bosses are not particularly compassionate towards what they see as "just a headache" and no amount of responsible behaviour on our part will change those with that kind of attitude. The saddest comment I got when gathering this list was from a person who, in response to my question "How do you deal with your boss and co-workers?", answered "I lie".
But it doesn't always have to be so hard. There are infinite possibilities for each of us in life. I highly recommend to everyone that they pick up a copy of Richard Bolles "What Colour is Your Parachute?" (ISBN #0-89815-385-9). This is a career-changers guide, but his attitude towards work and his guidance in defining what YOU want out of it can redefine the way you approach work in general. He includes a special chapter for persons with disabilities that will strike some chords. As naive as it may sound in the current economy, if you are working for someone who cannot see past your migraines to what your can be and are doing for them, then you are working for the wrong person. Your career and your health will both be better off elsewhere.


Jacqueline Dulson July, 1995